Xiao Qin and I have just returned from a fantastic backpacking trip through the Philippines.  Xiao Qin has now been to Oz thrice and also visited Yangshuo, Hainan and Thailand. This was, however, the first time that she has really roughed it in true backpacker style.  Dodgy transport, cheap accommodation, infrequent electricity and much to her horror no hot water.  She came through with flying colours... literally! Projectile vomit as far as the eye could see! 

We were still in the early days of our trip when the regrettable incident occurred.  We had spent one night in the Makati shopping district of Manila, one night at White Beach and two nights at Talipanan Beach.  White beach is touristy, Talipanan is quiet.  The highlight on Mindoro was without hesitation our 120km motorbike journey around the islands northern perimeter (in the author’s opinion at least – perhaps Xiao Qin would not agree).  The trip took in the picturesque Tamaraw Falls.  Having hired the bike for a measly 800 pesos, we returned to Talipanan satisfied that we had received value for money.  Xiao Qin and I took a boat from Roxas (on the east coast of Mindoro) to Odiongan (on the west coast of Tablas).  It was supposed to be a 3 hour cruise, but turned into a 7 hour ordeal with Xiao Qin, in a manner not unlike the infamous scene from the Exorcist, emptying the contents of her stomach all over herself, me and our belongings.  My poor Cronulla Sharks jumper - having been repaired after being ripped to shreds by an ungrateful goat rescued from the murky waters of Lake Taihu - took on an altogether new smell, colour and texture.

I actually thought we were not going to make it on several occasions.  The overcrowded boat was tossed about the sea like a cork in a Jacuzzi.  The semi-trailers making the journey on the lower deck had to be tied down with ropes in order to prevent them from tipping over.  I was cursing myself for deciding to enjoy a lukewarm beer at sunset as the water from the bottom of the toilet bowl splashed on my legs while I desperately attempted to relieve my bladder one handed.  Several hours after a vertical tennis match of a sunset there was still no sign of land.  I reminisced about pleasant past life experiences and came to the conclusion that even if the boat went down, I’d have no regrets.  Fortunately, we lived to see another day.  When we finally did arrive on shore, having witnessed one tiny Filipino man tying the massive metal shoebox-shaped boat with a rope resembling a piece of string, Xiao Qin looked me straight in the eye and said “Tom Baby, I am never sitting on a boat again, we nearly died!” This decision assertively made my lovely wife posed a not insignificant problem as we had just arrived on an island with no airport. 

I convinced her to make one more sea crossing to Carabao Island just north of Boracay neglecting to mention that we were still a further two boat trips away from Panay (the island with the nearest airport).  We spent nine days in total on Carabao.  The first 3 days were spent at the mayor’s house.  This was the only accommodation available on the eastern side of the island following what has been described as the biggest typhoon ever to hit the Philippines.  Nobody was killed on Carabao, however around 50 fishermen were killed in Boracay attempting to rescue their boats as the eye of the storm passed over the tiny tropical paradise.  Around 1000 Filipino’s in total died during the typhoon.  The number who lost their homes could quite easily be in the millions considering the flimsy materials that are haphazardly nailed together in constructing the average Filipino home.

The mayor’s house was by far the best on the island and was barely scratched during this massive typhoon due to the quality of method and building materials used in its construction.  Our reception at the mayor’s place was warm and welcoming.  They were in the middle of conducting relief operations for the thousands of villagers on the island who had had there home ripped to shreds by the typhoon.  Several concrete structures in the small baranguy (village) would not have been out of place in downtown Beiruit.  Cottages ingeniously put together using bamboo and palm fronds didn’t stand a chance. 

For some reason, which at the time was not apparent, we began to feel that we had overstayed our welcome. This was a weird feeling considering that we were paying guests.  This feeling became so strong after three days that we decided, quite abruptly, to up and leave.  This was not a decision that we made lightly as the mayor (in the middle of his typhoon relief operation) had taken the time out to invite us to share Christmas dinner with his family. 

We spent the remainder of our stay at Ivy’s Vine Resort.  The resort was run by a Canadian, Trent Widdup, who has been in Asia for nearly 20 years and his lovely Taiwanese wife Ivy.  Trent and Ivy operate their own language centre in Taiwan. Xiao Qin and I were their first ever guests at their resort. The resort itself at the time of visiting was still very much under construction.  For me at least this added something to the appeal of the place.  We were the only guests and it was as if we were sharing a little of Trent and Ivy’s dream.  There was as yet no electricity in our cottage. Nights were spent romantically by candlelight.  We supped many a ‘San Mig’ (the boys at least) and watched the sun dip into the sea.  Xiao Qin was impressed by the sheer number of stars in the sky (most Chinese believe that there are only about 10 – this number doubles to an enormous 20 for country folk).  Despite persistent effort, Xiao Qin is yet to lay her eyes on a liu xing (shooting star). 

Christmas Day was shared with an eccentric German and his family.  He was a retired construction manager who had overseen the building of several hydroelectric dams throughout the world. He very proudly informed us that he is 47 and has been retired for ten years.  He calculates that the hours he worked before his retirement amount to the same as an average German working 8 hours a day four and a half days a week who retires at the age of 65.  He is 10 years into building his dream home complete with solar and wind generated power.  The number of gadgets and home made solutions to complicated engineering problems was fascinating, but regrettably a little over my head.

Another strange occurrence on Carabao was an offer from a neighbouring resort owner to buy a 150 square metre piece of beach front.  The price was amazingly cheap and I seriously considered purchasing it.  It was only the fact that the deed would not officially be in my name that in the end dissuaded me.  Having arrived on an island that was not part of our initial itinerary, we spent more than half of our holiday there and nearly bought a small piece of it.  Many thanks to Trent and Ivy for their hospitality.

We spent our penultimate evening in the Philippines on Boracay – a stunningly beautiful beach ruined by gung-ho development.  We caught a small plane form Caticlan on Panay back to Manila.  Our trip was rounded of with an amazing New Years fireworks display over Manila Bay accompanied by at least 15 boisterous Filipino rock bands playing what to the untrained ear sounded very similar to Bryan Adam’s Summer of ’69 played loudly and ad infinitum.  For anyone planning a trip to Manila I strongly recommend the 1632 hotel in Abiatico Street, Malate.  It may be a little more pricey than a thatched cottage and the rooms are small, but it’s clean and best of all (for Xiao Qin especially) has hot water with high pressured showerheads. 

Overall, our trip turned out to be a wonderful adventure with more twists and turns than you can poke a stick at.  The Philippines have a lot to offer intrepid budget travellers seeking interesting destinations. That is, if you don’t mind sharing the cramped rear cabin of brightly-coloured jeepneys for hours on end with 20 wide-eyed locals along dusty bumpy roads, getting soaked in tiny boats by large waves while listening to the explosive, volatile, incredibly noisy motors and getting hassled by every man and his dog for those extra couple of pesos.  We had an awesome trip which we will never forget, which is lucky as the memory card in my camera is currently experiencing some kind of ostensibly terminal disease.